Thursday, October 28, 2004

Plain Jane

who am I
that you sought to save me from my agony?
what am I?
some wretch without hope
hiding in the dark
playing with flames
abrasions coat my face
falling to my knees
then go back to it
like a dog to its vomit
wasting my days away
my heart tucked away inside my blackness
You reach in, cradling it in
Your precious hands
wiping off the soot and grime
kissing it

lips white as snow
Your breath permeating every crevice
You implant it again within my chest
only to repeat the surgery
ten minutes later...

Thursday, October 14, 2004

"Heck yes God is awesome!"

I don't know why God chose to have mercy on me this week, but He has, in abundance! I think I got a B on my midterm which isn't what I hoped for but I'll take what I can get. Then, last night, I wrote my paper in two hours! TWO FLIPPIN HOURS! And it rocked the professor's socks off. Ok, not literally, but he did proofread it for me and tell me what I could improve. So I'm pretty much done with the paper that's not even due until Tuesday! God is stinkin awesome! So now all I have to worry about is mi espanol examen manana and a research paper for Social Work, with a complete project that is due Nov. 12. Heck yes!

Monday, October 11, 2004


So...I have a midterm Wed, a paper due next Tues, and a project due Nov. 12. Woohoo! Fun stuff. I haven't been having fun lately. "I'm just getting a little t'od" (props to Nap. Dy.) with my roommate. If you want to read the venting, go to Believe me, I'm not always this chipper. I go and vent in that journal, then I come over here and try to be happy. It does actually help. I want some honey nut chex right now. I'm procrastinating getting started on my stuff I have to do. I can't stand my english professor. He's extremely anal retentive.

"Sleep the day/ let it fade/Who was there to take your place..."-Bush, Comedown

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Flannel and Angst

In leu of my phase of 90's rock and one hit wonders, I decided to write down some songs that you all may have tucked away in your flannel pockets of yours...

-Freshman-The Verve Pipe
-Follow You Down & Hey Jealousy-Gin Blossoms
-Smells Like Teen Spirit-Nirvana
-All for You-Sister Hazel
-Runaround-Blues Traveler
-Free Fallin-Tom Petty
-Sunny Came Home- Shawn Colvin
-The Way-Fastball
-No Rain- Blind Melon
-Name- Goo Goo Dolls
-The World I Know-Collective Soul
-Brick-Ben Folds (be sure not to listen to the explication (sp?) at the end of the song)
-She's so High-Tal Bachman
-Push-Matchbox 20
-Barely Breathing-Duncan Sheik
-How Bizarre-OMC
-Lullaby-Shawn Mullins
-Semi-charmed Life- Third Eye Blind
-Take a Picture-Filter
-Inside Out- Eve 6
-Closing Time-Semisonic
-That Chumbawamba song
-Breakfast at Tiffany's-Deep Blue Something
-Two Princes- Spin Doctors
-Mr. Jones-Counting Crows

* some memory sources are courtesy of ;)

Monday, September 27, 2004

Life is good..............

I'm sittin here sippin on my tall white chocolate mocha from starbucks and listenin to Wonderwall...mmmm...

Near Memories

::What I like now::..

-stomping on leaves on the sidewalk, especially in the fall. If I'm walking and I'm bored, I'll make it a point to step on every leaf in my path. I like the way they crunch. Guess that goes back to the bees lol

-Rolling down the window and blast my music like I have a great stereo system or something. I really like to do this on summer nights.

-The point right before the light turns yellow when I have just enough time to make it through

-Pull and peel twizzlers


-Old reruns of 'The Cosby Show', 'Full House', 'Growing Pains', and 'Golden Girls'.

-Sitting in airports

-Demolishing sandcastles

-Biting my cuticles (habit)

-Attempting to play the guitar

-Singing the low parts in hymns in an old man voice, like 'At the Cross'... "where the burdens of my heart rolled away (rolled away)"

-Worshipping God

-The moments right before each season.. for fall, it's the sudden drop in temperature and the leaves, for winter, it's the crisp air and the flushed cheeks, for spring, it's the light breeze and the flowers, and for summer it's the smell of suntan lotion

-Going to amusement parks

-Dawson's Creek

-Wearing t-shirts


-Taking pictures and videoing

-Crying (sometimes)

-Laughing at nothing at all

-Thrift stores

-The days when I actually feel secure


-Bubble baths


-Chick flicks and horror movies

-Coffee.. lots of it


-Receiving praise for something I accomplish

-The smell of gasoline and sharpies

-Standing in the rain and jumping in puddles

-Taking a moment to breathe in the stars

-Doodling in class when I'm bored, even though I suck at drawing

- Soft, fluffy comforters



-The woobly feeling you get when you're sick...the feeling as if you could sleep forever and not miss anything

-Helping others and seeing the outcome

-Looking at puppies in the pet store

-Mountains and streams

-Big sweaters

*Room for additions...

Weird memories

Things I did when I was younger:

-Dug for worms in the garden
-Buried my dead hampster, then dug it up a couple more times
-Was convinced goblins were in my room so I would constantly sneak out to the couch and sleep
-Played in my basement and made a haunted house out of it
-Conducted a tour of my grandma's backyard
-Sang "Candyman" to the woman next door so she would give me coke.
-Watched 'Drop Dead Fred' a million times.
-Read Goosebumps religiously
-Kept Halloween candy in my room for a year
-Played Power Rangers with the guys and got detention for kicking a boy in the leg
-Was deathly afraid of 'Are you Afraid of the Dark?'
-Loved the Ninja Turtles
-Played with Barbies until I was like thirteen
-Had a lot of ear infections
-Never had my tonsils taken out
-Was catholic and when I went to confession I cried about breaking my mom's hair dryer even though I had already told her
-Loved Orange Tic Tacs
-Was a really big dork who nobody liked
-Asked a guy to a dance (4th grade), after which he proceeded to run away wailing "No!"
-Played basketball all the time
-Watched Sesame Street
-Stomped on bees
-Rolled my hampster back and forth with my friend on the floor in its little clear ball thing
-Drank Diet coke and actually craved it when I got home from school
-Watched Pee Wee and thought the cowboy dude (aka Laurence Fishbourne) looked like my Aunt (because he was rather tanned! I was like seven. No, my aunt does NOT look like a dude!)
-Loved Muppet Babies and the Muppet Show
-Loved "Salute your Shorts" "Hey Dude" and "The Roundhouse"
-Would annoy my cousin when we road down to the river because everytime we saw a muddy puddle, I'd shout "chocolate milk, ewwwww!"
-Jumped off the high dive when I was three, several times
-Hated eggs and coffee

*Room for additions....

Sunday, September 26, 2004

I'm sitting here with my best friend in the world, and my palms are sweaty

I've been obsessed with Dawson's Creek lately... lol My friend Carson started it. My roommates and I watched the whole first season this past week and tonight we watched the first episode of the second season. I don't know why I felt the need to write this. Case of nothing-better-to-write.


I'm new at this.. I have an lj. Dum Dum dum...